My Robot Girlfriend, Lilly
By Alexandra Yang
Copyright © 2014 by
Alexandra Yang
This
book is work of fiction. The names, characters, places are products of the
author's imagination or have been used fictitiously and are not to be construed
as real. Any resemblance to person, living or dead, actual events, locales or
organizations is entirely coincidental.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be
reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including
photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the
prior written permission of the author.
The Nerd Life
“Julian,
dear, don’t you think it’s about time you have a girlfriend?”
My mother
was sitting next to me as I completely stopped my 22-0 Call of Duty: Advanced
Warfare kill streak, just when I was going to prestige. And let me tell you
this. I have never had to pause my game to physically turn my head and body
around to see my mother, looking at me dead in the eyes with worry written all
over her drawn-in eyebrows. God her brows were ugly, but they made my mother
happy and I didn’t want to get a five hour lecture about the power of makeup.
“Did you
hear me, Jules?” she asked, crossing her arms now. Tilting her head to the side
a little.
“Um. Yeah,
mom?”
“I said,
it’s time you try finding yourself a little girlfriend. You’re what, 23 years
old now?”
“Mom, I’m only
18…”
“Same thing!
It’s time you stop playing your video games and…I don’t know. Experience life!
Love! Get a job, too!”
Her words
hit me like a sack of cabbage. And I hated cabbage.
As night fall came, I was sitting at my computer/gaming desk,
surfing the web and the almighty Facebook. I had a Facebook account that I
never used until now and found that I had quite a lot of friends, but…not in
actual person and the majority of those people I had little clue about or have
never even seen with my own eyes…except for my Yu-Gi-Oh squad of course. But
then I stopped and began thinking. No one in the Yu-Gi-Oh squad had girlfriends
either. Not Thomas, not Garry, not even Jamar.
I continued my social media creeping on some of the girls at
my high school that were mutual friends to me (again, only on Facebook). There
was Tiffany, the super hot dumb blonde that I had no interest in but her perky
boobs. Claire, the quiet Asian chick who was actually pretty cute and had a
thing for me during sophomore year but I was too blind, Mandy, the girl next
door, and the list kept going on and on with every profile picture getting more
half naked-like each time I scrolled to the next. I shook my head and face
palmed myself. What the hell am I doing? I thought. And then I saw it. The
perfect girl.
I couldn’t help but click on the ad. Thinking it was going to
be another porn site, it turned out to be something completely different from
my dirty mind. The ad was called “Finding Real Love” with the word real flashing like crazy and emphasized.
I bit my lips a little, hoping this wasn’t just another one of those scams. I
analyzed the page. And it looked pretty legit. So I signed up.
Unwrapping
Lilly
Early next morning at school, I couldn’t help but think how
stupid I was as I held my 3ds in front of me, trying to play Super Smash Bros.
4.
“Julian, you
okay bro?”
I looked up
from the screen to see Garry’s acne so close to me that I almost screamed. I
blinked twice and didn’t realize my mouth was completely opened.
“Huh?” was
all I managed to say.
“You’re not
even playing with us. You keep self-destructing or not moving,” Jamar said
impishly.
“Oh…sorry.
Just have a lot on my mind today,” I played off, which, actually I did. My
mother’s eyebrows and words, gaming, Facebook, and the mysterious package I was
supposed to receive later on today from “Finding Real Love”.
“That’s
weird,” said Thomas.
“What are you
thinking about?” Garry asked, still pretty up close with his acne.
“Just some
stuff my mom said to me yesterday...she said I need a job…and…,” I paused.
“And…?” the
three of them questioned in unison.
“A
girlfriend…”
They all
spun out of their chairs. One actually falling off.
“Is your
mother crazy?!”
“A
girlfriend!?”
“Why? Who
needs one! You only want one! And for you, you’re neither!”
“Are you
really going to let a girl in our
squad?”
“Chill out
dudes, jeez…I didn’t say I’m going to…”
They stopped
and leaned in closer to the kissing distance.
“Are you?”
I hesitated
and thought about my package again. What the hell did I get myself into?
“Maybe…”
It finally arrived that evening. I dragged, pushed, actually
using my strength, and snuck the enormous package inside to the basement—my bedroom.
That thing weighed the size of an elephant’s heart, I swear. It looked like a
coffin, just not as eerie from all the colorful fringes and ribbons. I felt my
heart pump blood faster and faster with the sweat glands in my palms getting
wetter. I wiped them on my joggers and soon noticed a button on the side of the
coffin which read “press to open”. And so I did.
My mouth was drooping so low I was drooling on myself. I was
frozen. I couldn’t feel my hands or my head. All I was focused on was her…and
her naked body. I felt my cheeks warm up and flush completely red. Her eyes
were closed. Her beautiful, long, wavy, brown hair covered her breasts where
she had her arms crossed with what appeared to be a manual tucked in…right in
the middle. She looked so…real! Like an actual person! I wiped more sweat off
my face and gulped. I carefully slipped the manual out and unfolded it and
began reading the instructions.
“To
activate…simply press the little heart button…across…her…chest,” I read aloud.
Across her chest, I repeated in my head. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god! I had to touch
her before she can actually move! My hands were so shaky as I slowly and gently
grabbed her arms. I then nervously began removing them out of the way, and as
soon as they were completely removed, I fainted right on top of her, pressing
the button.
I woke up a few minutes later and was somehow on my bed. I
quickly got up and looked around. Left to right, up and down. She was gone.
Crap. Oh god, please don’t let my mother see! Please don’t let my mother see! I immediately jumped off my bed and ran
upstairs where I spotted her in the living area peeking out at the window. My
mother was in the kitchen cooking, assuming she didn’t notice this random naked
woman in her house, I quietly, but swiftly approached the robot-human. It was
like she already knew I was going to show up for when I tried to grab her
(although I was scared and nervous as shit), she turned around and smiled
brightly. I lost my nerves. I almost lost my balance. That just happened. Like
one of those corny movies where the girl is in slow motion while a light breeze
blows through her long hair and sun gives her the perfect casting of shadow.
That corny movie scene just literally happened before my eyes.
“Ju--!”
I quickly
covered her mouth with my shaking hands.
“Shh…” I
gestured to her. She nodded, and I could feel her lips still smiling in my
mouth. I turned even redder. My heart was about to explode. I took her hand in
mine and led her back to my bedroom, sneaking past my mother once more.
I gave her one of my plain white t’s and a grey sweatpants
fresh from the dryer. I was looking down at the floor the whole time as she
stood in front of me, playing with the texture of the clothes she had on.
“Julian.”
I slowly
looked up, and by the time I knew it, she came charging at me.
“Lilly is so
happy to finally meet you!”
Oh. My. God.
She is hugging me, I thought. I felt my whole body collapse in the inside and
again, I was completely frozen. She finally broke away, still giving me that
very bright smile. She was so excited.
“Is Julian
happy to meet Lilly, too?” she asked.
That’s
right. I gave her that name when I was creating my “dream girl”.
“Y-yes. I’m
very happy to finally meet you, too, Lilly.” Oh god, she smelled so good. I
didn’t think robots could smell that good. I didn’t think robots could feel so
real, sound so real either, and most of all, look so real.
“Lilly will
try to make Julian very happy now by pleasing him, cooking for him, and
cleaning for him!”
Wait, wait,
wait. Did she just say “pleasing”?
“Um, that
won’t really be necessary…”
“What does
Julian mean? Lilly is here to make Julian happy!”
“Well, yeah,
but…You can just be yourself, you don’t have to cook or clean or anything…”
Did robots
really have a “self”? This was so awkward.
“Okay!” she
simply replied.
Dream Girls Come
True
I had told my mother that Lilly was a foreign exchange
student and I volunteered to let her stay at our place.
“Jules, you
need to let me know first! How was I supposed to prepare a room and stuff for
this beautiful young lady?”
“Miss
Archer, Lilly wants to sleep in the same room as Julian because Lilly needs to
be with him at all times!”
My mother
and I both went speechless.
“M-mom—“
“Of course
you can my new sweetie daughter-in-law!”
“Mom!”
As scary as
that sounded, I was actually really happy about that.
School had me dripping sweat and heart pounding out of my
chest. The first day she arrived was like getting that awesome new pair of
Jordans and showing it off unintentionally to literally everyone in the
building. Students, teachers, the cooks, everybody. The squad was definitely
the most speechless and shocked.
“My name is
Lilly! Nice to meet you, Thomas, Garry, and Jamar! Julian has really nice
looking friends and Lilly would like to become friends with you all, too!”
Their mouths were widely opened to the point where I had to
physically close it for them. Garry, the one who absolutely could not talk to
girls, faced the other way around and stared into space. Thomas turned to me,
giving me that “is this real?” look. I nodded. And Jamar was just simply amazed
and was making conversation with Lilly.
“So how did
you and Jules meet, Miss Lilly?” Jamar asked.
“Well,
Julian actually—“
“We met
online. Through eHarmony,” I quickly answered for her. Lilly seemed to
understand, so she kept quiet after and only kept smiling and nodding.
“Oh wow. I
didn’t think eHarmony had such perfect-looking, beautiful, extremely attractive
girls seeking a relationship! Maybe I should try it…” he mumbled. I felt so bad
lying to them, but there was no way in hell I was going to tell them Lilly was
actually a robot I sort of created through this crazy website business. I
laughed.
“Yeah man,
you should totally try it…Garry and Thomas, too. You guys should, too.”
We kept getting stared at as we walked down to every class. I
was especially afraid of the jocks. I was afraid they would try and take Lilly
away from me or something crazy like that. I was afraid of the “popular” girls,
too. I didn’t want all of them looking at or talking to Lilly, but I knew that
couldn’t be prevented. Tiffany, the dumb blonde with perky boobs, sat directly
across Lilly and me in the library along with her two other followers.
“Hey,” said
Tiffany, giving a mocking smile.
“Can I help
you, Tiffany?” I asked.
“Oh my, you
know my name?”
Of course I know
your pathetic name…who doesn’t? Apparently you don’t know mine.
“We only
came over because we noticed your pretty friend here. You didn’t introduce us
yet,” she said, glaring at Lilly. Lilly was smiling, as usual.
“My name is
Lilly. I am Julian’s girlfriend!”
“Girlfriend!”
Tiffany exclaimed. The other girls giggled. I rolled my eyes and sighed.
“What do you
want?” I asked with annoyance, beginning to devise a plan of escape in my head.
“Oh, nothing
in particular. We just wanted to say hi to the new girl. That’s all.”
And they
finally left.
“Are those
girls Julian’s friends, too?” Lilly asked. The way she looked at me made me
blush away.
“No. They’re
just…people I know and don’t really talk to.”
“Oh…does
Julian like Tiffany?” she questioned, her smile was fading a little.
I paused to
look at her. She looked so damn pretty.
“No. I don’t
like Tiffany at all,” I replied with confidence. Her smile came back again.
Thank god.
“Okay!
Because Lilly really likes Julian. Does Julian really like Lilly, too?”
I took no
time to hesitate or think.
“Yes. I
really like Lilly.”
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